The “List” aka Diva’s Pyramid
Lucas is on top, of course. Everybody loves Lucas.
Kimmy is second, she’s totally going to punch herself in the face for that the second she gets home tonight.
Sammy is third, I like her because she ain’t afraid to sass the teachers if she feels she’s not being recognized. Sass it up girl!
Jessi is fourth. DEAR GOD WILL YOU AND YOUR MOTHER EVER STOP CRYING?
What the hell is wrong with this family, we are less than 3 minutes into the episode and they are bawling. Also, from now on I am going to call your mother “Moe” because her haircut reminds me of Moe from the 3 Stooges.
Hannah is on the bottom. Which kind of stinks because her mom makes a pretty good point, she placed well!
These teachers are insane, flying the kids across the country for the second week in a row!
Lucas and Kimmy get solos, even though we are all secretly praying they can duet again. Wasn’t that awesome?
Oh shit! Jessi doesn’t get a solo! Her and her mom are going to kill themselves tonight. Please, just give her a solo!!
Group Dance is About Insecurities.
These guys are relentless. Victor and Angel are the sassiest bitches around.
Dancer’s Insecurities
Jessi: she is embarassed to go on stage. MOM WHY ARE YOU MAKING HER DANCE?
Also, why are the guys taking this opportunity to tell them that their insecurities are wrong? They ask them to spill out their feelings then tell them they are wrong, and to “stop crying”. This is really sad.
Hannah: she also doesn’t like to be on stage. Ok, great.
Kimmy: She just wants to be perfect. MOM, THIS CHICK HAS GOT OCD.
Lucas: people make fun of him at school for being a dancer. Yeah, I bet they do Lucas, I bet they do.
Sammy: It’s not her fault that she’s popular!!
Mom Dramz.
Ok, all of them are going to the bathroom to talk about the other one. Barf.
Ughhh all the moms are talking and I’m zoning out. Have you guys ever had almond butter? It’s truly delicious. I think it’s healthier than peanut butter? HA HA not really though.
Kimmy’s Solo!
They gave her a dance about striving for perfection. PERFECT. That chick is one big muscle. She’s kind of amazing. She does need to get into the music though. OMG what if she does that scene with a black guy from “Save The Last Dance.” That would be amazing. That’s totally going to happen to her once she goes to professional ballet school in the city. I cannot wait.
Lucas’s Solo!
He’s a pro.
Sammy’s Solo!
Like, don’t hate her cause she’s popular. Also, don’t teach her how to Dougie. Girl, KNOWS how to Dougie.
Group Dance.
Angel takes this opportunity to have the girls make fun of their moms. What a catty bitch. Also, Kimmy is hilarious. She had the best one liner about peppermints. Ok, she may be Maureen from “Centerstage” but she’s funny. Kimmy, your new nickname is Maureen.
Mom’s sass it up to each other … unless Moe starts sobbing I don’t give a shit.
Competition Time!
Ok, they are back at the same competition…Hopefully there will be people in the audience besides them this time.
Ani talks about how she lets out her insecurities on her daughter. Oh great. She is totally a Maureen in the making.
Also, these girls have professional make up artists for their girls! This is kind of official I like!
Maureen’s (Kimmy) Solo
“I’m not perfect.” But you are!! The choreography is kind of whack though. But that arabesque releve was pretty impressive. YGG! (yo go girl)
Whenever they do clips of the other groups in the dance competition I die! I want to see those dances! Can we just make this show into a public access show documenting a dance competition?
Lucas’s Solo
Yeah, we get it, you can dance. Will Lucas ever grow hair on his legs? What will he do about it? Will he shave?
Sammy’s Solo
She is such a cocky bitch! I kind of like it though. But close your mouth when you’re dancing young lady! That was a striptease number. And I blame it all on the choreography.
Solo Awards
Kimmy gets 2nd Place. Guess she really ISN’T perfect.
Lucas and Sammy don’t place. Oh shit! I BLAME THE CHOREOGRAPHY.
Sabotaging a solo? What does that even mean? That shit cray. (what she order? fish fillet!)
Group Number
Stupid. Too intense. Where is Abby Lee?!?!? Are they ever going to be at the same competition???
5th Place. Eh.
OK, maybe this episode was a little better than last week. But I still miss Abby Lee. Step it up Dance Moms: Miami!!!!
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