DMM Season 1, Episode 6 Recap
Good morning everyone! Is anyone else having a lot of headaches lately? Maybe it’s from the humidity. Or maybe I just haven’t had any coffee yet and I’m freaking out. I hate being addicted to something!!!
Victor is so supportive. He tells the girls he thought they were fantastic last week. SEE! This is what I’m talking about! Finally we see some SUPPORT on this damn show. Then, of course, Angel crushes it all to shreds like the Kool-Aid man.
Lucas is at the top of the list! Adorable. Kimmsies is second. Jessi is third and oh, god, i don’t want to mess with that girl. She’s pissed. Sammy is fourth and Hannah is at the bottom. Aww poor girl. I love you. MEN need to be cool with women crying! It’s nbd! We all need to be better criers!
Victor announces that Jessi, Hannah, and Sammi will be doing a trio together and Jessi’s Mom, Moe, storms out of the room. I feel like that family is full of sleeping dragons
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Wait, did Sammi just call Hannah, “Anna”? OMG STOP! SHE TOTALLY DID! She doesn’t even know homegirl’s name. This show is such a fucking sham!
The group number is twisted circus. So fucked up. GIF REQUEST: Angel brooding, his brow furrowed, watching his tiny little dancers. That guy is such a fucking storm cloud, ya’ll.
Oh god, so Abby starts again on June 5. Is Miami still going to be going on? I don’t think I can handle two season at once!
They brought a carny from a trailer park in to help them become clowns! Why didn’t they ask Moe and her two brothers to help out?!?
Victor claims he was being “fierce” when really I was nervous for him! Get off that hoop, and please teach these girls! Whatever, at least he’s trying it!
Maureen (Kimmy) is pumped to have a contemporary routine that’s going to help her “let go”. Girl needs more than a dance to help that OCD, dance is the reason she’s insane to begin with!
Hannah, Jessi, and Sammi are in a trio. Ok. I’m just going to throw this idea out there: Puerto Rican Destiny’s Child. No? Ok, just thought I would try.
Hannah is rocking a smoldering smokey eye, girl you look good, but YOU’RE TOO LITTLE!
Anyways, what is it with all of these teachers trying to turn their dancers against each other? Are there any lessons in teamwork on any of these shows??
Moe’s makeup is OOC (out of control)! That bitch must spackle makeup on her face with a spatula every morning.
Hannah (poor baby!) starts crying because she can hear the moms talking shit about her. What the heck?! These moms SUCK. Victor, I love you, smart idea bringing the dancers outside. Remember when you were younger and the cool teachers were always like “let’s do class outside today.” And it was the best thing ever! Once we went outside for biology and I tried to seduce this loser in my class because he was always staring at me, and clearly he had a crush on me. Well, turns out he didn’t, he just had a lazy eye :(
Angel just walked in with balloons. Black balloons. Could you be any more EMO? Everyone is getting props …Jessi has a whip?!
You guys. Clowns. I really hope we don’t see any clowns.
I’m sorry but Moe really needs less screen time, her face is making my teeth hurt.
Lucas has a new guy Ricky. They are in love. I think Angel and Victor might be getting a little jealous…
So when is Lucas going to do anything different than his beautiful extensions? I need to see something more Lucas! Bring your artist out!
Wait, Lucas is confiding in Victor that people are calling him gay at school. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHOW TURNING INTO?! The producers clearly had Lucas do this. Justice from Candy Apple’s was never called gay! Probably because he lived in the shade of Tommy’s Jerky. That’s what they’re calling it these days.
Oh dear. Also, Victor in his suspenders is adorable.
Lucas’s Solo
Lucas is up first with his contemporary solo about getting hurt and he’s going to “show the audience what an artist really is.” I love you Lucas but you’re getting cocky as f*$k.You’re getting kind of Biebery.
Is he ever going to do a dance where he doesn’t just hold extensions? When are we going to see him jump?! Oh wait, that leap was beautiful. Shit, Lucas I love you!
Kimmy’s Solo
Great costume girl! She needs to learn how to move her head though, from the shoulders up she is so stiff! Also, her choreography is eerily similar to Lucas’s … Her arabesques are beautiful. Kimmy needs to go to a professional ballet school and get out of this circus school. They keep wanting to push Kimmy to show her true colors, what they don’t realize is that Kimmy’s true colors are as a ballerina with discipline!
Moe Drama
What is with her? Shut up Moe. Also, lose the crop top! Why doesn’t she ever stop crying! You are messing Jessi up!! Moe is crazy. Is she going through menopause or on lots of pills? There has to be some reason that this woman literally cries about everything. Sue: maybe she’s just going through something
Trio!
Costumes are … ok. Beginning poses are badass. These girls are fierce! This dance is kind of amazing. The choreography really pinpointed each dancer’s strengths! Nicely done!
AWARDS?
Kimmy got 5th place. Oh no, what’s she gonna do when she goes home? Cut herself?
Lucas got 1st place. What else is new?
Trio got 2nd place. I think they deserved first! Looks like Moe and I agree on something!
Insane Clown Posse
Jessi’s costume is badass. Lucas looks like a gay baker from France. Sorry, but it’s true. This music is the same song from the beginning of “Beauty And The Beast” omg when they show the stained glass story! I love that movie so much!
Anyways, something terrible happened during the dance I guess.
AND THEY GOT FIRST PLACE! Fairy tale ending!
Lucas does the robot, and Jessi drops it like it’s hot. GIF REQUEST!!!
Ugh Lucas stop acting so gay and tattletaling on everyone.
I give this episode 2 out of 5 margaritas. Snoozefest!
WE MISS PITTSBURGH!
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