It’s Anna here, and my roommate still smells and I just ate a whole bunch of chocolate almond butter cookies and I’m literally bouncing off the walls!!!!!! Wheeeeeeee.
WOW Just reminding all of you NYC people to catch our show about reality tv this Valentine’s Day! Link for tickets is here!
We are so excited for this show, and on Friday we are actually shooting a video for the show about CATHY AND ABBY! We cannot wait to show you guys!
Ok, so pumped for this show to START WOOOOOOOO Is that lil chick coming back to twirl her f-ing baby face off?!?!?! She better be! Also, the fact that Cathy and Vivi are still in the opening gives me SO MUCH HOPE.
Woah. Looks like Kendall and Maddie got second place. Oooops! I wonder how this will effect the pyramid?!?!!?
Christi looks like an ex-showgirl in that sparkly outfit. Mufasa looks like a washed up cokehead from Studio 54. Kind of like the Mike Myers character? Anyone watch that movie? It’s great.
I’m so happy to see a lot of the girls without make-up! All of you girls are beautiful! We love seeing your beautiful faces!
Kendall and Maddie and Nia ON THE BOTTOM
Paige and Chloe IN THE MIDDLE
So and So is ON TOP!!! Love that chick. Her teeth are so cute, mine looked like that before I got braces. Braces were the worst.
So looks like we have two replacements coming in, Katie and Bella—they look like adults. My friend babysits this kid named Tyler and he looks like a manchild. Seriously. He’s four but he has the face of an adult and he is too big for a stroller. It’s the creepiest shit. We gave him a cookie the other day and he was like, “NOM NOM NOM.”
Ok, Christi totally has a weave. Anyway, I cannot wait for this contortionist routine. It seems vaguely racist. Abby’s forte!
Jesus christ Mufasa, your outfit is bad enough why add that heinous boa?
Guys. I’m really regretting eating all of those cookies. They are not sitting well. My eye is also twitching. I’m like a freaking baby when it comes to sugar! Don’t even let me NEAR some Haribo.
Melissa is confronting Abby blah blah blahh
HOLY SHIT. Do you guys remember Skipper from Sex and the City Season 1? He was Carrie’s weird friend that was in love with Miranda. He is in a COMMERCIAL now. Acting careers always make me sad.
More shots of the girls doing acro, less shots of the moms complaining about bullshit!
Chlo gets a solo! I hope she doesn’t Chlo it …
Maddie’s got braces! Clear braces! Aww she’s adorable!!
OMG. Abby is crying to Maddie, Maddie is crying to Abby. This is so much drama, I feel terrible for the both of them. Maddie was Abby’s protege! Sue, I know you’re going to hate me for saying this, but I feel awful for Abby! I love that woman right now! I love Maddie! So many emotions! So many cookies that I ate! Sue here. I think Abby was totally actor crying to manipulate Maddie. Just makes me hate her more.
What kind of accent does Mufasa have? I don’t understand her. Also, do these women go to specialty stores that specialize in the ugliest patterns in the world? Melissa’s bangs look like she’s an extra from one of the “Back to the Future” movies OR DJ Tanner.
OOOOH the replacements are competing against us! Guys, how sick are you of the name Bella? So sorry if that’s your name, but COME ON! It’s EVERYWHERE right now.
So and So is doing her solo first, YGG you can do it! Oh no, she forgot her dance! She’s so freaking adorable it’s ok, love! Oh look, she has braces too!! The Ziegler girls have braces! I love them both more than anything, even myself.
Oooh, her mom says, “She is not Maddie.” That’s so mean.
WTF is with Abby’s sea rope necklace? It’s like she’s a barge being tied to the pier. She loves nautical themed jewelry. I am one catty bitch in today’s recap I apologize! It was the cookies!
There’s some drama in the hallway with the Bellas and their ages. Christi has a good punchline about how Cathy’s dancers looked like they were 27 so it’s ok. I’m so tired. I just want to watch an episode of Catfish and pass out. I love that show. It’s like, “Marry me!” “We’ve been talking for two years but I never did a Google Image Search because I want to lie to myself!” “AGHHHHHH!!!! You’re a fat troll!!!!”
Both Kaeli and Bella do weird things with their hands and feet—the ALDC is way better trained in technique than these dummy Studio Bleu girls.
Chloe’s costume is gorgeous except for that weirdass head shawl. What is with that?
Bella does an ok job. Eh. GO CHLO! GO CHLO! I personally think Chloe is better than the other girls. But we will see…
Abby just tore Melissa and her family a new one. WOAH. Hey Abby? Melissa’s personal life is none of your business and you’re being VERY unprofessional right now. You’re like evil incarnate. You’re like if Satan swallowed the Kool-Aid man and then started breathing fire.
Melissa? It IS ok for Maddie to cry. She’s a kid and she’s hurt. Let her feel her feelings.
The Studio Bleu group number is kind of a snoozer. Abby loves it though. PAIGE has braces, too!!!! The ALDC group number is beautiful. I love the stage picture. This is probs my favorite group number they’ve ever done, even though it’s vaguely racist. Vacist?
So and So gets third! Still good! Chlo gets second place? Lame. Studio Bleu Kaeli beats her. OMG, Arabian Nights gets FOURTH PLACE. OUTRAGE!!!! Studio Cordon Bleu gets first. This show is so staged. So staged… Anyway.
Abby tells Christi to stop making excuses for her kid because she’s in school. She’s fucking ridiculous. Christi calls her a fatty over and over again. It’s PRICELESSSSSSS. Poor Chlo gets so sad. And Christi gets another great punchline…. Ooh, Cathy Candy Apple’s is back next week!
This episode gets four out of five andy apples because it’s just amazing.